


saturday

by thereisnobearonthisisland



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, I don't usually write smut, It's Not Great, M/M, Smut, but acceptable, but i just did, it's such an inspiration, phil's fwiff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereisnobearonthisisland/pseuds/thereisnobearonthisisland
Summary: the 100 percent accurate account of how phil's fwiff came to be(i was there)





	saturday

**Author's Note:**

> all my thanks to britt for prompting me to write this beta-ing it for me and telling me it doesn't suck. and to phil lester for rebranding to fwiff!phil and being the inspiration for this fic. love u both.

“Babe?”  

Dan pushes the front door of their flat shut with his hip and kicks off his shoes, trying desperately to keep the drink carrier he’s holding upright as he shuffles around.  He’ll put the shoes away later, but right now all he wants is to drink coffee with Phil and make him rub his aching feet.  He peeks his head into the lounge, but Phil isn’t there.  That fucker.  He probably hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet.

“Baaaabe, my feet hurt.”  He sets off for the bedroom, his footsteps falling heavily against the hardwood floor.  He takes a big step into the room, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and throwing his head back.  “Woe is me.”

Phil’s sat up in bed with the duvet pulled up to his chest.  His hair is disheveled, fringe pushed away from his forehead and loose strands sticking up along his crown.  Dan feels his heart constrict as Phil looks back at him with glasses-framed sleepy eyes, his tongue poking out from between his teeth as he takes Dan in.  

Dan knows that he looks good, but he also knows that when Phil’s eyes light up, it’s because he’s spotted the carton carrying their coffees and not because he appreciates the care Dan put into his hair this morning.  

“You spork,” Dan says softly as he makes his way toward the bed.  He sets the carrier down on his bedside table and crawls beneath the covers, turning to look at Phil.  Reaching his hand out, he runs his fingers through Phil’s hair and smooths out the wayward strands.  He pushes the bulk of it to the side so that it’s somewhere between a fringe and a quiff.  Phil wraps a hand around Dan’s wrist.

“Daaaaaan.”  His lips are pursed into a pout, and he’s looking up at Dan through half-lidded eyes.  “I want my coffee.”  

Dan feels his heart rattle around inside his own chest, and he has to bite his lip to keep himself from cooing.  How did he get so lucky?  How did he manage to nab the most beautiful and caring—albeit annoying—man in the world?  How is he so lucky that he gets to wake up to this every day, to see Phil’s hair pushed back like this, see the wide expanse of his forehead and the curving slope of his nose, see those pretty pink, bow-shaped lips and get to kiss them whenever he wants?  God, Dan wants to kiss him right now.

“Dan?”  Phil’s brow is scrunched together, and he squeezes Dan’s wrist lightly.  

Dan shakes his head and gulps, as if he can just swallow down all of the love that’s been building up in his chest.  He turns to his other side and wiggles one of the coffee cups out of its holder before turning back to Phil and passing it to him.  Phil takes it, wrapping both of his hands around it and licking his lips.

Dan grabs his own coffee and turns back toward his boyfriend.  He brings one hand to Phil’s face and swipes his thumb over the arch of his cheekbone.  Phil’s eyes soften, and he places one of his hands over Dan’s.

“You’re touchy today,” he murmurs, taking a sip of his coffee.  Dan watches the way his throat bobs as he swallows.  “Dan?” Phil says.

Dan drops his hand and takes one sip of his own coffee before setting it back on his side table.  He pushes the duvet back and throws a leg over both of Phil’s, straddling him and sitting back on his thighs.  Phil clutches his coffee tighter to his chest in protest, not willing to relinquish it in favor of whatever Dan has planned just yet.  

Dan presses a hand to the back of Phil’s neck, massaging his fingers into the soft hairs at the nape.  His other hand comes up to cup Phil’s face, and he leans forward to brush his lips against the corner of Phil’s mouth.  He pulls back, stroking his thumb along the edge of Phil’s jaw.  

“God, I wish you could see yourself right now.”  Dan drops his forehead, burying it in Phil’s chest.

“What do I look like?”  Phil’s voice is so low that Dan can feel the rumble in his chest as he speaks.  He wraps one arm around Dan, stroking up and down his spine.  Dan shivers.

Picking his head up and biting his lip, Dan lets his eyes trail over the contours of Phil’s face.  He leans forward and nuzzles his nose against his boyfriend’s.  “Don’t laugh,” he says, pecking Phil’s lips once.  

Phil smirks.  “No promises.”

Dan plucks the coffee cup out of Phil’s hand and places it on the bedside table next to his own coffee.  

Phil gasps.  “Hey!”

“You can warm it up later.”  He peppers kisses along the line of Phil’s jaw.

“But it doesn’t taste as good when it’s reheated.”

Dan doesn’t even need to look to know that Phil’s pouting right now.  He rolls his eyes and leans over to grab one of the coffees.  He takes a swig but doesn’t swallow.  Instead, he pulls Phil closer by his neck and smashes their mouths together.  He pries Phil’s mouth open with his tongue, spilling the coffee between their lips.  Their mouths make a wet, smacking sound as Phil pulls away, and Dan watches, mesmerized, as he swallows again.  Phil gapes at him.

“What?” Dan says.  “Will that not hold you over until after we’ve had sex?”

Phil wrinkles his nose.  “I think that might be the grossest thing we’ve ever done.  I mean, it tasted good, but still.”

Dan pulls back and pinches the bridge of his nose.  “Phil.  You _literally_ had your tongue in my ass two days ago.  And you think _this_ is the grossest thing we’ve done?”

Phil splutters.  “Well.  I mean.  I guess in the grand scheme of things—not that there’s anything wrong or, like, seriously gross about sticking your tongue in someone’s ass—but in the grand scheme of things, the coffee isn’t as gross.”  He scratches the back of his head.  “I don’t know.  I guess it just reminds me of birds?  Like how one will get the food and digest it, and then spit it back up for the other to eat.”

Dan’s jaw drops.  “I didn’t _regurgitate_ the coffee.  I just transferred it from my mouth to yours.  It’s just like all those times we used to swap gum back and forth.”

“Yeah, okay, you’re right.”  Phil pauses, eyes drifting down to Dan’s mouth, and lifts his hand up to Dan’s face.  He swipes his thumb over Dan’s bottom lip, hooking it just inside and dragging it down, down, only to let it ping back into place.  He looks back up into Dan’s eyes and drops his hand back into his lap.  “But you never answered my question earlier.  What do I look like?”

Dan sighs, but his lips quirk up at the corners.  He reaches a hand up to the hair he carefully pushed away from Phil’s forehead earlier and runs his fingers through it.  He can’t resist leaning forward to brush their lips together again.  “You look like a dad,” he says softly.  

Phil’s eyebrows shoot up.  “I thought that kink was a joke?  Do we need to pause and have a conversation?”

Dan shakes his head.  “It is a joke.  But—I don’t know.  Seeing you the way you look today makes me think about starting a family.  Not now, obviously.  But someday.  I think I’d like to have a family with you someday.  If you wanted.”

This time it’s Phil who presses their lips together.  He grabs both sides of Dan’s face with his hands and smashes their mouths together at full speed.  Their teeth clack against each other, but Dan doesn’t pay it much attention.  All he can see, hear, smell, taste, _feel_ right now is _Phil_.  Phil is right here in front of him, but he’s also everywhere.  

He’s in the wet sounds of their lips smacking sloppily together.  He’s in the heat that’s spreading all over Dan’s body right now, but also in the chill that passes over him when Phil’s hands trail down his neck.  He’s in the lingering taste of that damn coffee he was whinging about just minutes ago.  He’s that storm you see out in the middle of the sea on an otherwise perfectly lovely day.  All blue and grey and green and yellow eyes.  Dan’s heart is beating like the rolling thunder of that storm right now, and he forces himself to pull away.  

He leans his forehead against Phil’s, panting short breaths into the narrow space between them.  “I have to say,” he says, surging forward to meet Phil’s lips for another quick kiss, “it’s a lot more fun to make out with you when your hair’s pushed back from your face.”  

“Mmm.”  Phil presses a string of kisses along the edge of Dan’s jaw and down his neck while Dan tries to catch his breath.  It’s not really helping.  “I thought you liked the fringe?”

“I do like the fringe.  I think it’s a _look_ , and a look that works well for you.  But do you have any idea how annoying it is when your boyfriend’s hair is tickling your face while you’re making out?”  Dan gasps as Phil’s tongue dips into valley of his collarbone.

Phil nips at the skin there.  “I do, actually.  Don’t forget that it wasn’t that long ago that you also had fringe.”  He slides his hands up under Dan’s shirt and tugs until Dan lifts his arms so he can pull it off.  Smoothing his hands over Dan’s shoulders, he pushes Dan off of him and onto his back on the other side of the bed and crawls on top of him.

“So you’re saying,” Dan starts, pausing to let out a low groan as Phil’s mouth closes around his nipple, “that you _know_ how annoying it is to have fringe tickling your face while you’re trying to make out, but you’ve never thought, ‘Hmm, I wonder if my boyfriend also thinks this is annoying?’”

Phil’s teeth graze the nub as he pulls away to look Dan in the eye, a smirk playing on his lips.  “I’ve always known you think it’s annoying.  I just figured that you love me enough to not really care about me changing it.”

Dan presses his lips firmly against Phil’s forehead.  “I _do_ love you that much.  Fuck, I’d love you if you were bald.”

Phil cups his cheek.  “Next on LessAmazingPhil: wearing a bald cap to see if my boyfriend really loves me.”

Dan narrows his eyes.  “You wouldn’t.”

“I won’t.  But I could.”  He brings their lips together again, and Dan melts against him.  They kiss slowly, pressed chest to chest, Dan’s hands coming to grip at Phil’s hips.  Phil’s hands shift to roam over the smooth planes of Dan’s back, fingertips barely skimming over soft skin and leaving a trail of fire in their wake.  They lick into each other’s mouths with an ease that only comes with years and years of practice.  

Phil slips his hands between their chests, letting one stop to rest over Dan’s rapidly beating heart, and sliding the other one over to pinch Dan’s nipple between his fingers. Dan moans, but Phil opens his mouth a little wider and swallows it down.  

Dan pulls himself away, tipping his head back and letting out a high-pitched whine when Phil moves on without him.  Phil’s pressing sloppy kisses down his neck and rolling the nub of Dan’s nipple between his fingers, and Dan’s already half-hard.  

He slips his hands beneath the hem of Phil’s t-shirt, digging his nails into the soft padding around Phil’s hips when Phil takes a nipple into his mouth again.

“You know,” he pants as Phil swirls his tongue around the nub, “it’s _really_ not fair that I’m half-naked already and you’ve still got all your clothes on.”

Phil’s teeth scrape against the sensitive tip of his nipple again, and Dan hisses, dragging a hand up to Phil’s hair and tugging on it.  Phil’s lips are right back on his skin again though, and each time they brush against him, they send another shock of electricity through his entire body.  It’s agonizing, how slow Phil is as he mouths every inch of skin between Dan’s chest and chin.  Dan writhes beneath him, grasping at any part of Phil he can reach as Phil tortures him with that pretty mouth.  Finally, _finally_ , Phil’s lips stop at the small patch of soft skin right behind Dan’s ear.  He’s breathing heavily, spilling hot puffs of air down Dan’s neck.  

“What are you gonna do about that, then?”  Phil’s voice is low and gravelly.  He takes Dan’s earlobe between his teeth and tugs at it once before releasing it and licking hotly into the small cavern of his ear.  And then he’s moving again, lips trailing back down Dan’s jaw, his neck, his chest, the soft padding of his stomach.  

Dan growls—actually growls—and shoves his hands under the hem of Phil’s tee, rucking it up.  Phil pulls away just long enough for Dan to pull it up over his head, and then he’s back, attacking Dan’s flushed torso with his mouth.  Dan grabs at him, scratching at Phil’s shoulder blades as he moves lower, _lower_.  Phil’s tongue dips into his navel, and it shouldn’t feel this good, but Dan’s toes curl anyway and he gasps softly.  

When Phil pulls away, Dan lets out an indignant whine.  “No,” he groans, “don’t stop.”  There’s no response, no renewed press of Phil’s mouth to his body, so he lifts his head to pout at this fiend who’s just _stopped_ , and his breath catches in his throat when he sees him.  He’s looking back at Dan with crinkly eyes, and his face is flushed pink, and his eyes are trained on Dan in a way that makes both his heart and his dick swell.  

Dan grins back at him, his own tongue poking out from between his teeth.  “Get on with it then, you noob,” he says, nodding his head.  Phil leans down and blows a raspberry into the soft skin just above the hem of Dan’s jeans.  Dan squirms, nudging Phil’s thigh with his foot.  “Stooop.”

Phil lifts his head back up and smiles innocently.  “But Dan, you just told me _not_ to stop.  What do you want?  If you don’t want to have sex right now, that’s okay.  We can just take our coffees out into the lounge and watch some anime or—”

“Phil, I want you to suck my dick.  And sooner rather than later.”

Phil shrugs.  “Okay.”  He unbuttons Dan’s jeans, and pulls the zipper down, and struggles to work them over his hips.  He sighs and looks up at Dan with an eye roll.  “Really?  You actually put on skinny jeans this morning knowing full well that as soon as you got home you’d be seducing me so I’d suck your dick?”

“I had to go _outside_ , Lester.   _Outside._  I wasn’t about to wear sweatpants to the coffee shop.  Saturdays are their busiest days.  I can’t be looking slovenly when there’s a bigger chance of someone spotting me.”

“Well you got yourself into them.  So now you’re gonna have to help me get you out of them.”

Dan lifts his hips and wiggles around until Phil’s able to work the jeans and his boxers over his ass and peel them the rest of the way off.  Phil huffs as he tosses them to the floor.  “You’re a piece of work,” he says.  He slides his hands up Dan’s thighs, squeezing them as he lowers himself to his stomach on the bed and situates himself between Dan’s legs.  

He peppers Dan’s inner thighs with hickeys, sucking, licking, biting at them until they’re littered with tiny purple bruises.  With each swipe of Phil’s tongue that moves nearer to where he really wants it, Dan’s cock twitches.  He can’t take it anymore.  He fists Phil’s hair between his fingers and drags that magical mouth to where he really wants it.  To where he _needs_ it.  

Phil presses an open-mouthed kiss to the tip of Dan’s cock, swirling his tongue around to collect all of the precum that leaking out of his slit.  Dan throws his head back with a moan, but forces himself to look back at Phil.  He wants to watch this.  He wants to see Phil’s mouth wrapped around his cock, wants to watch as he bobs his head up and down and takes Dan all the way to the back of his throat.  He wants to be looking at Phil when his eyes roll back into his head as Dan comes down his throat.  Dan pushes Phil’s hair all the way back off of his forehead.

Dan squeezes his eyes shut as Phil opens his mouth wider to take in more of him.  “ _God_ ,” he groans, eyes shooting back open to watch as his boyfriend, this perfect specimen who has somehow chosen _him_ , sinks his hot, wet mouth further down Dan’s cock.  “How did I get so lucky with you?”  He strokes Phil’s hair, the hair that started this whole thing.  So soft, so dark, so _sexy_ pushed back from his forehead.

Phil hollows out his cheeks, and Dan’s mind goes blank.  He grabs a fistful of Phil’s black locks, forcing his hips to stay pressed down into the mattress even though every ounce of him is screaming for him to buck his hips.  His cock is throbbing inside Phil’s mouth, itching for the friction that will give him the release he needs right now.  The release he’s been craving pretty much since he got home.

Phil bobs his head a few times before sinking all the way down and burying his nose in the short, curly hairs at the base of Dan’s dick.  He nuzzles into them and hollows out his cheeks some more, sucking Dan all the way to the back of his throat.  Dan’s aching to thrust his hips, to make Phil take him even deeper, but he doesn’t want to hurt him.  He doesn’t ever want to see Phil hurting.

There’s a system they’ve built over the years for this very reason.  He waits for Phil to relax his throat, to loosen his jaw so that Dan will slide in and out of his throat more smoothly.  Finally, _finally_ , Phil taps the side of Dan’s leg to indicate that he’s good to take all of him now.  Phil bobs his head, and Dan thrusts his hips, panting and moaning loudly every time his cock slides a little more down Phil’s throat.  

One of Phil’s hands skims up his leg, slides to just behind the base of his cock, and begins to massage his balls.   _God_ , Dan thinks he could come just like this.  With Phil’s pretty mouth wrapped around him, stretched taut over Dan’s dick.  With his technicolor eyes staring up at Dan, watching how he throws his head back when Phil’s tongue swipes against him just right, taking in how Dan’s breaths grow shorter and shallower with each graze of Phil’s teeth over the base of his cock.  With the knowledge that this man, this fucking _angel_ he’s somehow been granted permission to love, this mastermind who must also be a complete idiot because he continues to put up with all of Dan’s bullshit even after all these years, this man somehow loves him too.

And then Dan does come.  There’s absolutely no warning for either of them, really.  He’s so focused on _Phil_ , _Phil_ , _Phil_ that he doesn’t even notice the pressure that’s building low in his abdomen until a second before he comes.  Phil doesn’t even blink.  He just swallows Dan down, lets him spill his seed down his throat, lets him ride out the high inside his mouth, squeezes his own eyes shut as Dan cries out loud enough for the whole complex to hear.  He eases himself off of Dan’s cock then, catching the last of Dan’s cum with his tongue and letting his eyes roll back into his head.  

Dan doesn’t taste good.  He knows he doesn’t.  He’s tasted himself on Phil’s lips after moments like these before and he doesn’t taste good.  But Phil’s eyes never fail to roll up into his head, and this never fails to help Dan ride out his orgasm.  Phil opens his eyes again and pulls all the way off of Dan’s cock with a pop.  

Dan pushes himself up to lean his back against the headboard and makes grabby hands at Phil.  “C’mere,” he says softly.

Phil crawls up toward him, settling himself in Dan’s lap and wrapping his legs around Dan’s back.  He grabs Dan’s face with both hands and leans in to kiss him slowly.  Their lips slide together wetly, and Dan can taste himself again.  Phil won’t ever say it, but this is his favorite way to get off.  In Dan’s lap, their lips moving together lazily, and Dan reaching into the waistband of his boxers and pulling out his cock.  

Dan wraps one hand around him and uses the other one to cup his cheek.  He licks into Phil’s mouth, murmuring about how good Phil’s lips felt around his cock just minutes ago, about how he loves the way Phil’s cock feel in his hand, so good, so hard, so _big_.  “You know I don’t believe in soulmates or fate or anything like that.”  He pulls back a bit to nibble on Phil’s bottom lip.  “But sometimes I think that some sort of cosmic energy must have been the reason that we found each other all those years ago.  Catch these giant-ass hands, perfectly sized to wrap around your monster cock whenever you’re horny.”

Phil’s responding laugh turns into a long, drawn-out moan as Dan twists his cock just right.  “Oh my God,” he says, pressing his lips back to Dan’s.  “Please shut up.  Just shut up and kiss me.”

Dan leans in closer, slipping his tongue back inside Phil’s mouth, entangling them as he pumps Phil’s cock faster.  Phil tugs on his hair and breathes hotly into Dan’s mouth as he fucks into his hand, chasing after an orgasm that’s just out of reach.  He needs Dan to help push him over the edge, and Dan knows just how to do it.  

He swipes his thumb back and forth, back and forth over Phil’s increasingly leaking slit and drags his lips over to Phil’s ear.  “God, I love you,” he whispers, licking into Phil’s ear.  “I can’t wait to have a family with you someday.  As soon as you’re ready.”

And then Phil comes, spilling out over Dan’s hand.  Dan brings their lips back together, not even bothering to try to decipher the nonsense that’s pouring out of Phil’s mouth and into his own.  He just slides their mouths together and helps Phil ride out his orgasm.  When Phil’s finally finished, when he’s finally emptied his seed all over Dan’s hand, Dan releases him.  He wipes his hand on their sheets and then brings it up to cup Phil’s other cheek.  

They kiss slowly, softly, tongues slipping back into their respective mouths as they both come down from this high.  Dan will never say it, but this is his favorite part of sex with Phil.  Phil presses a final kiss to Dan’s lips and then pries himself off of his lap.  He rolls over into the space next to Dan, stretching out his legs and wrapping a heavy arm around Dan’s middle.  Dan wraps an arm around his shoulders and presses his lips to the side of his head.  

“I love you so much,” Phil mumbles, dropping his head onto Dan’s shoulder.  He burrows his face into the crook of his neck.  “I can’t wait to have a family with you, either.”

Dan smiles softly at this complete _spork_ , whose eyes are already drifting shut again after less than fifteen minutes of sex.  His spork.  He shifts them both down until they’re flat on the bed again.  

“Hey Dan?” Phil says sleepily.

“Yeah?”

“I think I want to try wearing my hair the way you like it more.  I don’t want you to be annoyed by my fringe if you don’t have to be.  If I make an appointment, will you explain the way it should look for me?”

Dan runs his fingers through Phil’s hair one more time as his eyes drift shut.

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! come say hi to me at laddyplester over on tumblr!


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